10+Page+Final+Short+Story

This is so difficult, being a person that has a post traumatic stress disorder. Getting picked on in school for what is wrong with you, but that was when I was a little girl. They never left me alone. Sometimes I wonder if the therapy is working. I am so afraid to talk to her about what is going on with me. Sometimes I just want to scream then afterwards go and hide and never come out of where I am at. I have no one who understands me. My parents I go home and they are never there it seems. They wouldn't be because I am all grown up. I forget a lot of things. I think that plays into my post traumatic stress disorder. My father and mother are still living. My mother is in a psychiatric hospital, and my father lives in a down town.

My mother has blond hair, hazel eyes, and a beautiful smile. Well that was before all of this happened. She used to smile a lot. I don’t know what happened. Well, I do but I dare not tell you until I start the story of what happened. I never go see her in the hospital. My dad tells me all the time “You know you should really go and see you mother. She has been dying to see you hunny. I understand why you don’t go, but you should really try. Maybe, one of these times you could go with me to see her. I think it would help. Your therapist even says it would help.” My father looks like the average guy you would see down town. Well, truthfully my father has dark brown hair with gray specks, blue eyes, and is a little bit over weight. I have been trying to get him to lose weight, but I know he has been buying sweet junk food at the down town grocery store. I go and stay with him some time’s just to make sure he isn’t going nuts off of what has happened to his wife, let alone his daughter.

I have a younger sister who was nine and an older brother who was nineteen when this happened to me, but now my sister is twenty one and my brother is thirty one, and I am twenty four. So yes I am the middle child. Ever since I was a little girl I knew that there was something wrong with me, but no one would listen to me. If they would have listen to me then I might be a lot better off than I am now. Well, we will go over how I got this way. Yeah I was like this when I was going through my teen years. Oh, excuse me my name is Alexis Ann McGuire. I have dark brown hair, blue eyes and I am average weight. I always wear jean, T-shirts, and sweat shirts. My brand of clothing is Hollister.

Well here it goes me explaining my boring and pathetic life. Well I think it’s that but you may not. What did this to me was my mother trying to kill me, but it didn’t work. My mother has problems, she didn’t even know herself. The funny thing is that she called the ambulance herself when she done it, but that was when I was twelve. My father knew that it was coming, because he always knew she was crazy. What he didn't know was that she would try killing me. That broke his heart when he got home and he seen an ambulance out front of our old farm house.

The old farm house is white with black shutters. It is really huge and big. On the inside right when you first walk in you see a long hallway. There are rooms coming off of the hallway, one is the living room. It is the one of the largest rooms in the whole house. It has a couch, three arm chairs, two coffee tables, four end tables, a desk in the corner, and there is an entertainment stand. In the hallway that the living room is on, there are three more rooms connected too that. At the end of the hallway there is a door that leads to the back yard. One of the other rooms is the downstairs bathroom. Which is not very big, it is like an everyday bathroom. Except there is no shower, a regular bathroom has a shower and a tub. But this one does not. Another room is the kitchen, which always has cooking supplies. That is a medium size kitchen. Now there is one more room. It is another one of the largest rooms in the house. It is the library. My father and I have always has had a niche for reading. Well since my father is a professor at the college. He brings a lot of books home from work. He also bought books from the Christian book store in town. He collects books too, very old books. Out old farm house has three bathrooms.

For the upstairs, it has oak hard wood flooring. It is so shiny. There are four bedrooms on the upstairs floor, my parents room which is one of the largest rooms in the house. Other than the living room and the library. There is my room, my little sisters room, and my half brothers room. My parent room, the walls are red with black curtains covering the windows. They have a king sized bed with red blankets. There is a walk in closet at the far back of their room. In that their is a room that comes off of that. That is their walk in bathroom. I know its a lot to take in. Well there is also two night stands on both sides of the bed. At the farthest side of the room their is two dressers. My parents keep their clothes in them.

Back out to the hallway, well their is a long hallway and the second door down is my room. It is a dark purple with black stripes and has a queen sized bed in it. The blankets are black satin sheets with a blue comforter. I have a night stand on both sides of my bed. There is a carpet on the floor that is blue and purple. The floors are hard wood cherry. I have a dresser and closet. The curtains are purple and blue with black stripes. There is way too much to tell about the rest of the house. There is a basement and an attic. When I was little I use to go up there to play dress up with my best friend Megan.

When my dad got there to the old farm house my dad told me when he seen that he didn't know what to expect. He thought that something really bad happened to me. I got really bad asthma. That's why he was worried. Where my mother stabbed me at was at least maybe a little less than an inch from my lung. Well it’s still painful to talk about. I have a scar underneath my second to last rib. She stabbed me with a hunting knife. They are meant to go through everything, even the bone. I hate talking about this because sometimes when I do talk about it. It still hurts.

Twelve years earlier,

"Mom put the knife down"

"No, it’s the only way I can save you. I don't want you to be taken away from me. Not ever dear."

"Mommy please you are really starting to scare me", I say crying until my eyes were beginning to get dry that they hurt.

"No!" she said.

She starts coming after me with the hunting knife. My eyes were beginning to hurt like a million bee stings all at once because I was crying so much. Molly my little sister is at her friend’s house. Molly looks like my mother but younger, much younger. I kept on saying this in my head

"Thank God Molly isn't here to see mom this bad. It would scare her so bad".

I am afraid as my mother draws near. She has never been this bad before. It feels like my eyes are beginning to grow shut. That's just how swollen they are. I am hoping that my dad will get home before she tries to kill me. Just in an instance my mother charges and leaps right on top of me. I feel something hard, cold and sharp going into my body. It hurts so bad I begin crying more, and more.

Why would she try to kill me? What did I do to deserve this? Oh no. "Mom stop I try to yell." But nothing comes out of my mouth. Oh god, help me. Just take the pain away. I don’t want to feel it any more. I heard my mother whisper. "Oh god, what did I do?" "I am sorry Lexi bare. I didn't mean to hurt you." By that instance she gets up and calls the ambulance.

"Oh god, what did I do?!" I go to grab the phone. I can’t stand myself any more. I want to die."

"I am so sorry Lexi Bear. I didn't mean to hurt you." I start to panic. I get up and go over and call the ambulance.

I am so worried that they won’t be here on time. I stumble to the phone. I am on my hands and knees. My hands are covered in blood; I hate the smell of it. Just the thought makes me want to drown in my own pool of thoughts and tears. I am going to turn myself into a mental hospital. I hope they can help me get through this craze that I got in too.

I am still crawling on the floor towards the phone. It seems a thousand of miles away. Finally, after what seems like two hours, I get there. I need to think straight, it’s not working. I dial the numbers 911. Please pick up the phone. And by that instance, they pick up the phone.

The person says "Hello how may I help your emergency?”

I can’t think. It’s so hard when you are crying and wondering what made me stab my daughter, my baby. I would never hurt her intentionally. I have a lump in my throat. I try to speak. I say “Um my daughter is laying on the floor bleeding. Please send help."

She says "Well the first thing I am going to need is your first and last name?"

"Well my name is Sherry, Sherry McGuire." I say.

The Next thing she asks is, "I am going to need to know where you live?"

"We live on 124 Chestnut Street, I hurt my daughter."

"Okay" the lady says, "How did you hurt your daughter?"

"I um, I stabbed her." I say. "I am so sorry."

"We will be right there." she says. “Don’t go anywhere."

"Alright, I won’t I promise." I say. "I think I need some mental help. Please send two ambulances."

"Alright......" Click.

Oh God, just the thought of losing Alexis. I am a Christian lady. I have never said the Lord's name in vain this much. So I get down on my knees and pray with my daughters hand in my hand. I say a little psalm, and a prayer. Well it didn't take long for the ambulance to get here. It took about fifteen minutes after the first one came to get my daughter for the second one to come here for me. I don't know what came over me, I just got so mad. Well I guess it’s my bipolar kicking in to my system. I get so mad sometimes, I don't know where it came from.

The next morning I woke up I was in the hospital. I didn't know where I was at. I remembered everything that happened last night thought. My own mother tried to kill me, her own daughter. I am so glad that Molly wasn't there last night and my brother Jason was at college. Jason has red hair, blue eyes, and my mother unforgettable smile. Jason and I are not very close. See now my mother was married before she got with my real father. So Jason is not a McGuire. He is a Madison. He is only my half brother, but I consider him my real brother.

I woke up in the hospital....

I woke up screaming. "Oh my God, where am I?" I look around to inspect my surroundings. It’s all blurry; I can’t focus on anything that I look at. It’s so scary waking up and not knowing where you are. I try to slow my breathing. I didn't notice my dad sitting in a chair, getting up, coming over trying to hold me and calm me down. I start to cry.

My dad whispers in my ear. "I thought that I lost you. I was so worried about you and your mother being home alone. It is I to blame. I should have thought about leaving you and your mother at home alone more thoroughly."

All I could do was sit there with my father holding me. Wrapped up in my father’s arms all nice and warm, like a nice blanket. I love my daddy. My father has taken care of me for all of my life. My mother was busy with going to school for nursing. With schooling there is not a lot of time for raising a family. So my father did it, with also going to work at a college. It was very challenging. He got stressed out often, very often. When he got stressed out dad would take me to the library that was in the house and read me a book of some sort.

When my sister Molly came along, my mother was so stressed out. With going to school and trying to take care of my sister. My father went back to school, working as a professor, at the college. My mother and father made an agreement, when we children were babies until the age of six she would take care of us but after the age of six. We were his problem. He loved children, he spoiled us.

I thought back through the memories that I held dearly about my father, sister, and I. They were so wonderful that I had tears coming out of my eyes. My father herd me sniffle and whimper. He draws back and looks at me.

He says, “Alexis are you alright? Are you in pain? Where does it hurt?”

I try to say something, nope nothing.

Dad said "Hunny please say something."

I tried to say something once again but not words come out only sounds from the back of my throat, I couldn't talk. My father knew that I was trying to say something.

The doctor walks in. "'Well Alexis McGuire, How are you feeling today?"

I try to comprehend what the doctor was talking about. Oh yeah, last night. What happened last night? I can remember all the details. Then I look down at what I was wearing. Ugh! I was wearing a hospital gown. I started getting flash backs on what happened. Oh god. All of a sudden I pull out my gown and look down. There was a little incision ant so, on my rib. Oh god it’s all true. What my mother has done to me.

“Well um doctor,” I say in a raspy voice,” truthfully I feel like I got hit by a train over and over again, and I got a head ache. I want to cry, and I want to sleep all at once.”

“You Alexis are very lucky to be alive. You have had a very traumatic night. Do you remember anything that has happened?”

“Yes, but I wish not to talk about it. Please.” I said once again in a raspy voice.

“Okay, maybe later then if you wish dear. What you need right now is to rest. I’ll talk to your father for now. Then once you feel rested I will talk to you. Is that alright?”

“Yes doctor. That’s what I need. Sleep. That pillow right there on this bed looks so inviting. Well daddy if you would please not leave me. Not ever.”

“No dear I won’t, but the doctor does need to talk to me hunny. I won’t even be gone for even two minutes. I’ll be right back. Okay.”

“Yes daddy. Please hurry back.”

“I will.” As my father walks out of the room he smiles and winks at me.

So my father walks out of the room…… And I lay down on the pillow. The room is different maybe because maybe I am in pain. I just am not sure. It smells like a hospital. The lights start to flicker my eyelids get heavier and they close. I know I won’t wake up until the next morning. It doesn’t feel right, my father isn’t back yet. I can’t sleep but somehow I manage too. I relax all of my muscles and gently fall asleep. I go into a deep slumber.

“Doctor, what is going on with my daughter?”

“Well as I said before she has been through a traumatic experience. If she can remember what happened to her last night, I think she will only have post traumatic stress disorder. Your wife has really out done herself this time. Wow, I wouldn’t have thought that she would have gone this far. I really am sorry, but if she can’t remember anything….. John I don’t know how to tell you this…. She could have short term or long term memory loss.”

“Oh god, my daughter won’t be able to handle this. It’s going to be too much. I don’t need to lose her like I did her mother. I got to keep this from her until she gets older.”

“John that would be the worst thing to do to your daughter, oh, and I am going to suggest that you get her some therapy. It would help out with the post traumatic, short or long term memory loss. I would get her tested for all three if I was you.”

“Alright doctor, ill see what I can do. Do you have any more suggestions on what therapist to take her too?”

"John, I will see what I got in my office. I can’t make any promises you know. If I don't have any they’re I will have one of my nurses at the front desk look one up for you. I am really glad that you are taking in to consideration about getting Alexis some therapy. I really do think it would help her. She is such a sweet girl. She has always been nice to me anyways."

"Hey thanks doc, this really means a lot to me. I don't know how to repay you. Of course you have been my friend forever now and.... Just thank you."

"John it’s not a problem. I am glad to help. I am a doctor. It’s what I do. It’s just so hard to believe that Sherry would do this to your daughter. She loved Alexis so much. I don't know what to think. She was never a violent person when all of us were kids. Well I have to get back to work and I think that you should get back to Alexis."

“Alright doctor, well good luck with all the work you have to do and the patients you have to see. Good day.”

“Yeah john, I will see you.”

“See ya doc.”

“Yeah John we will be in touch buddy.”

I woke up the next morning. My dad was sitting in a chair across the room. When he noticed that I was stirring awake, he got up and came over. All that he could do was look at me. I still am tired off of the anesthesia. I still am confused about what happened last night. It takes me a while to remember things that’s how it always has been with me ever since I was littler that I am now. My friend once told me that you can learn how to control it. I never got that far. Ugh! I try and no matter how hard I try to control it. It never works though.

My daddy was sitting right beside me now. He kisses my cheek. I love him. I was more of a daddy’s girl rather than a mommy’s girl. I got along with my father better than my mother. I always thought that she was jealous. Well now I knew that she was more than jealous. She wanted me dead and gone. Well last night she almost got her wish. My daddy is my role model. I love him to death.

I flutter my eyes my dad is looking down at the baby blue eyes that I have. I whisper to him… “Daddy you said that you wouldn’t be gone long. You left me and I thought that you were never coming back. I love you daddy. Please don’t ever leave me ever again?”

“I won’t dear not ever. How did you sleep?”

“I slept like a log, dad I still don’t know what happened? Will you tell me?”

“Well the doctor said for me not to tell you because it should come back to you all in good time. I am sorry that you can’t remember.”

“Its fine I actually wouldn’t want you tell me. What if it doesn’t come back though?”

“Well I guess that’s why the doctor wants you to go through therapy, he says that it will help you remember it and go through it. He also said something about post traumatic stress disorder and short and long term memory loss.”